It was a late Friday evening as I dashed into an over crowded store only a block or so from my home. Still plagued and assaulted by the same irritating relentless negative thoughts, (where are all these people coming from, the world is just so over populated, I hate living here.....), and so on.
I managed to maneuver around and through the sea of people inside the store, never making eye contact, as I gathered my items, payed for them and left.
Scurrying quickly past the lady who upon my entrance had thrust into my hand, yet another flier, asking for food for the hungry. More negative thoughts swirled in my head, as I rushed to my vehicle.
I was pulling out of the parking lot when I noticed her, she was one of those people that live in my neighborhood at the salvation army apartments for people with disabilities. She like many who live there get around on one of those scooter type chairs.
It was just about dark as I turned out onto the busy road, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she was waving her arms about.
At first I thought she was waving to some people waiting on a bus across the street, but past all those negative thoughts from earlier and just beyond my desire to get home, I knew I had to make the block and see if this person required assistance.
AS I made my now second approach, I pulled my truck over. Walking toward the woman I realized her predicament, her back wheels were stuck and spinning in the gravel she was surrounded by.
A simple push freed her from the circumstance she struggled against only a moment before.
Through her attempt of communication I knew she had suffered from some type of stroke or brain injury and that this impeded her mobility and her speech. She was able to say she was OK, as she sped off toward the road.
Returning to my vehicle. I now had more thoughts to contend with, but not before I watched, as the lady I just helped free, pulled out onto a dark busy road, my heart in my throat, as some cars stopped with in inches of impact, while others zoomed past in a blur, oblivious to the peril and havoc they were only inches from creating.
The woman successfully crossed the street, just as the prayer, I was unconsciously uttering slipped from my breath.
I looked for her as I turned off the main road, many of the residence use the street my home is on to safely get to the store and back, but I did not see her, I can only assume she made it safely to her destination.
The thought of her possibly being stuck in that gravel as darkness fell around her, as we, all of us, rushed past in pursuit of our meaningless, insignificant tasks, conjures within me a restlessness, a conviction of soul.
The image of this woman in my minds eye, as she struggles, seemingly in vain, flailing her arms about, doing the only thing she could physically do; staving off, I am sure, her own relentless thoughts of panic and fear, is an image that thankfully has no comfortable place to rest .....
My own flesh, apparently alive and well, sin still lurking, waiting ever so patiently to slip in unnoticed, seizing every opportunity to direct my thoughts, birthing within me a self serving tunnel vision, robbing and stealing even; ( or perhaps especially), all those moments when I slip into auto pilot, going through the motions, forgetting who I am, and why I breath.... and in this refusal to deny myself, forfeiting again and again all of the wonderful opportunities He gives me, to bless another human being, and in this, I miss out on an even sweeter fellowship, the fellowship I have in Him, as I move. and live, and have my being.....
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